In 2023, the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS) reported that over 343,000 children were in foster care nationally. As of April 2025, California alone had around 38,000 foster children.
You’ve seen the statistics and you’ve decided that you want to be part of the change. After pages of paperwork, hours of training, and an in-home inspection, you are finally ready to welcome a foster child into your home.
As a new resource family, you may feel a mix of excitement and apprehension. The responsibility of caring for a foster child can feel overwhelming. Thankfully, you are not alone in this process, with plenty of training and support resources.
Supporting a new foster child starts with creating a welcoming, open space for them, both physically and emotionally. Follow these tips to feel better prepared as you approach your first day as a foster parent.
Preparing Your Home for a Foster Child
The process of welcoming a foster child to your home begins before they even set foot inside. Even though your house has been inspected and approved as a suitable living space, you might be unsure how to make it feel homey to a foster child. Making some minor adjustments and preparing your home can help your foster child feel welcome.
Your Foster Child’s Bedroom
Foster children should have their own bed and, if possible, their own bedroom. Having their own space during this transition can help a child adjust to the new environment.
- The essentials: The room should have a wardrobe, desk, and other age-appropriate furnishings. Especially if you have other children in the home, ensure that the setup is similar to their rooms to create a uniform feel.
- Room decor: Help make the room feel like theirs. If you know their favorite color, incorporate it into the theming. Or you can make it a collaborative effort, involving them in the decorating process.
- Fun activities: Depending on the child’s age, you may want to have some coloring books or toys in the space for them. For older kids, a TV or video game console may be an option.
- Get them involved: Make sure the space feels comfortable but still is blank enough for them to add their own flair. Encourage them to hang posters or drawings on the walls.
Your Living Spaces
Ensure your space is safe and comfortable for a foster child starting day one.
- Incorporate photos: Hang up pictures of your foster child in the home, such as on the fridge or the mantle. This can help them feel like part of the family.
- Tidy up: Organize shared spaces before the child’s arrival. Chaos and mess can be overwhelming during the transition process.
- Lock up harmful items: To prevent injuries, store chemicals, medication, and other items out of easy reach.
- Secure sentimental items: Children should feel safe enough to play without worrying about breaking important items.
- Stock up on food: Since you’re adding another person to your household, restock your pantry. Be aware of any dietary restrictions.
What Should You Purchase for a Foster Child?
Some foster children may not have many personal items to bring to your home. Keep some basic items on hand, such as:
- Toothbrush and toothpaste
- Soap and shampoo
- Body lotion
- Deodorant
- Tampons and pads
- Comfy pajamas and basic clothes
- Basic snacks
Tips for the First Days With a Foster Child
Depending on the length of your foster experience, the first few days can be a great way to slowly integrate a foster child into their new environment. Think about how you would welcome any guest staying at your home.
Give the Grand Tour
Start your day by showing your foster child around the house and introducing yourself, any children, and pets in your home. Let them see their new bedroom, emphasizing that they can decorate it to match their unique personality. If they have brought belongings, you can show them where they can store them and go through the items together, if the child is comfortable with that.
Make sure they know their way around the house as a whole, showing them the bathrooms, kitchen, and any common spaces. Tell them that this is their house, too, and they can use the common spaces. For example, if you have a pantry or snack drawer, let them know they can grab something when they are hungry.
Set Some Expectations and Routines
Refrain from presenting the child with a list of rules and regulations when they arrive, as this can overwhelm them. Instead, bring up family expectations slowly and naturally, and emphasize some fun routines. Maybe you watch a family movie on Thursday evenings. Include them in these activities to begin building trust with your foster child. Explain what you expect regarding things like bedtime while being open to their routines and preferences.
Stay Flexible and Let Them Lead
Each child is individual and has a unique personality and needs. Maybe your foster child is extroverted and wants to interact with their new space and family immediately. Or they may be quieter and not want an overwhelming welcome wagon. Going off their lead can help them feel more in control during this time.
Building Trust With a Foster Child
Trust is a process, so do not get discouraged if it doesn’t happen immediately. In addition to creating a welcoming physical environment, you can make an emotionally safe space for your foster child.
- Demonstrate unconditional care: Display care through words and actions, and show that you are reliable and consistent. Feeling like they can be themselves without judgment or punishment can encourage foster children to open up.
- Develop clear, empathetic communication: Many foster children have been discouraged from speaking about their emotions. Encourage them to talk about how they feel. Actively listen to their thoughts and feelings, creating a dialogue where they feel heard and appreciated.
- Foster connections with the biological family: Where applicable, support connections with the child’s biological family. These relationships are important, and maintaining them can benefit the child’s well-being.
- Celebrate the wins: Whether they have aced their report card or cleaned their room on their own, be sure to celebrate these moments with them.
Foster Child Adjustment Period
Around 90% of foster children have experienced trauma of some kind. Many have had unstable living environments and inconsistent parental figures. Becoming a resource family is an incredible gift, but it can also bring some challenges for you and the child. During this adjustment period, know there will be good and bad days.
Some foster child transition tips include:
- Take care of yourself: Prioritize self-care and prevent burnout. We all know that you can’t pour from an empty cup!
- Patience, patience, patience: Adjusting will differ for each child and each resource parent.
- Seek professional support: Many support groups and professional counseling opportunities are available to benefit both you and your foster child.
Get Support From Knotts Family Agency
You’re not in this alone! Knotts Family Agency is proud to support our foster families. Our commitment to Parent Delight ensures that you and your foster child are supported every step of the way. With opportunities like continuing education, psychological support, and financial transparency, we are dedicated to seeing our foster families succeed.
If you want to become a resource family, contact us for more information.
Linked:
- https://tableau-public.acf.gov/views/afcars_dashboard_main_page/mainpage
- https://ccwip.berkeley.edu/childwelfare/reports/PIT/MTSG/r/ab636/s
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/how-do-i-prepare-my-home-for-foster-care/
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/caring-for-foster-children-suggestions-for-foster-parents-to-promote-happiness-in-children/
- https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0190740923002815
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/avoiding-compassion-fatigue-or-burnout-as-foster-parents/
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/unique-approach/
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/contact-us/