Becoming a foster parent requires empathy, understanding, and love. The child in your care will likely have experienced trauma and needs you to create a safe and nurturing environment and relationship. You’ll also need knowledge. Books can help prepare you for the realities of fostering children.
Reading nonfiction, autobiographies, memoirs, and even children’s books, can open your mind to the type of experiences these children may have been through and how best to connect with them and manage challenges. The more diligently you read the best books about foster care, the more you can broaden your perspectives, grow your compassion, and expand your collection of foster parenting strategies.
Nonfiction Books for Foster Parents
Learning from psychologists, journalists, neuroscientists, and other professionals can help you identify the causes of behavior. The more you understand root causes, the more effectively you’ll be able to manage challenging behavior with compassion and consistency. Here are two nonfiction books for future foster parents or anyone looking to deepen their understanding of foster children.
“The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family” by Karyn B. Purvis, David R. Cross, and Wendy Lyons Sunshine
Karyn Purvis, sometimes called the “child whisperer,” is known as a prominent child development expert, researcher, and advocate for children, especially those who have experienced trauma, neglect, or abuse. She coined the term “children from hard places” to describe the children she served and co-authored this book to provide guidance for parents of adopted and foster children and address some common concerns and difficulties.
“The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family” offers a framework for understanding and responding to children from hard places. The authors have included practical techniques to create a nurturing and safe environment and build connection and trust.
Being a popular foster parent book, it’s unsurprising that this resource addresses specific behavioral challenges that are common in children from hard places, such as defiance, anxiety, emotional dysregulation, lying, and stealing. This book can help you develop compassionate, calm, and effective ways to approach interacting with or parenting a foster child.
“Connections Over Compliance” by Lori Desautels
While this book doesn’t focus on foster children specifically, it does focus on trauma-informed practices, which are fundamental for foster parenting. So many foster children have experienced trauma, and this book contains ways to support them. Dr. Lori Desautels discusses how traditional disciplinary systems that rely on punishment and control often retraumatize children and offers an alternative way.
Grounded in neuroscience, this book advocates for understanding the causes of behavior, the impact of trauma and the role of the nervous system. It provides actionable strategies for parents to regulate their nervous systems so they can co-regulate with children. This method can enhance connection and understanding and encourage sustainable behavior change instead of adding to the child’s trauma.
Memoirs and Biographical Foster Care Books
Reading personal renditions of foster children’s and foster parents’ experiences can help you:
- Understand different perspectives.
- Gain practical knowledge and strategies.
- Learn about the system.
- Develop empathy and find hope.
- Discover the benefits of becoming a foster parent.
- Learn how to navigate fear and doubts.
- Practice self-reflection.
“Three Little Words: A Memoir” by Ashley Rhodes-Coulter
This book contains the story of Ashley Rhodes-Courter’s nine years in the foster care system. Ashley shares her personal journey from early childhood memories to the day she was taken from her young and troubled mother to numerous foster home experiences. Her recounting of a particularly abusive foster home highlights flaws in the child welfare system. Ashley meets a caring lawyer, Mary Miller, who helps her take legal action against her abusive foster family, and Ashley ends up being placed with a kind couple who provide stability and love.
This is a valuable resource for foster parents, offering insight into the many varied experiences of a foster child. The personal point of view of someone who has spent many years in the foster care system can help parents relate to a foster child, deepening their understanding and empathy. This memoir highlights the necessity of helping children find their voice and be heard, and the importance of advocates like Mary Miller.
“Keep the Doors Open: Lessons Learned from a Year of Foster Parenting” by Kristin Berry
This honest book on foster parenting unpacks some of the author’s experiences in her and her husband’s first year of fostering. Kristin Berry was a foster parent of twenty-three children over nine years. This book provides a glimpse into the realities of foster care and the everyday life of foster parents, including building relationships with children who have experienced trauma, navigating the foster care system, and dealing with challenging behavioral issues.
Kristin Berry’s autobiographical content and supportive, encouraging tone can help individuals prepare for their foster parenting journey. She shares lessons and practical tips such as prioritizing self-care and well-being, knowing when to seek professional assistance, and creating a safe and positive environment for your foster child. As well as practical, actionable advice, you’ll find honest sharing about why the author believes it is so special to open your door to foster kids.
Children’s Books About Fostering and Adopting
Children’s books can give you tender, raw, accessible insights into what foster children might be experiencing. Books for kids that contain themes relevant to the foster care experience can also be useful to share if you have biological children, adopted, or other foster children in your home. Stories about foster parenting can help adults and children develop empathy and understand diverse experiences.
Reading books about foster families and similar themes to the children already in your care can be vital to preparing them to welcome another child to the family. Here are two children’s books that can help with understanding what it might feel like to come into a new family and how important it is to be kind and warm to foster children.
“No Matter What: A Foster Care Tale” by Josh Shipp With David Tieche
This heartwarming story is a message of hope for adopted and foster children. Beautifully illustrated by Yuliya Pankratova, this tale is based on Josh’s experience of being a foster child. The main character, a squirrel named Josh without a family, bounces between foster families, feeling out of place and unwanted.
Finally, Josh finds a family of elephants who are patient with him and want him to be a part of their family today, tomorrow, and forever. “No Matter What: A Foster Care Tale” will help cultivate empathy and inspire resilience and hope.
“Pup and Bear” by Kate Banks
This picture book captures the emotional story of a lost wolf pup who is raised by a loving polar bear. The illustrator, Naoko Stoop, captures the love and kindness the wolf pup experiences as the polar bear takes him to her den, feeds him, cuddles him, and does all the things a mother would do. The cub grows up and ventures into the wild world alone.
Years later, the adult wolf comes across a tiny lost polar bear cub, and the cycle begins again. “Pup and Bear” is sure to resonate with non-traditional families and is a beautiful example of how children and parents can find each other in unexpected ways.
Learn More About Becoming a Foster Parent With Knotts Family Agency
While fostering a child is challenging, it can also be deeply rewarding and joyful. Books can help prospective parents prepare for the realities of fostering. If you already have children in your home, reading them children’s books about fostering can help them understand diverse family structures and develop empathy and even excitement for welcoming a foster child. Reading broadly can equip you with practical tools, offer personal insights, cultivate compassion, and generally make you feel more ready for your next chapter.
Knotts Family Agency (KFA) has over 30 years of experience training and supporting foster parents, also known as resource parents. Our team recognizes that a happy parent is essential for a healthy child, and we’re proud to be able to meet the multifaceted needs of both children and resource parents. KFA goes above and beyond to offer transparent financial protocols and ensures you’ll receive appropriate monthly reimbursements personalized to the child’s needs and the services you provide.
You can contact us with any questions or to schedule an appointment to learn more.
Linked Sources:
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/challenging-behaviors-in-foster-care/
- https://child.tcu.edu/resources/#sthash.f5yEIqWX.dpbs
- https://arttherapy.columbian.gwu.edu/rewiring-our-perception-discipline-connections-over-compliance
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/journey-into-foster-care-addressing-common-concerns/
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/fostering-a-safe-and-respectful-environment-a-guide-for-resource-parents/
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/nurturing-healing-bonds-the-power-of-trauma-informed-parenting-in-foster-care/
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/becoming-a-foster-parent-in-california-an-opportunity-to-make-a-lasting-impact/
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/your-journey-to-foster-parenting-addressing-doubts-and-recognizing-your-uniqueness/
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/understanding-the-realities-of-foster-care-a-guide-for-prospective-parents/
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/care-for-foster-parents-balancing-your-well-being-and-your-role/
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/caring-for-foster-children-suggestions-for-foster-parents-to-promote-happiness-in-children/
- https://knottsfamilyagency.org/contact-us/